Official Taijuan Walker Norris-isms Thread
In honor of Walker, Seattle Mariner NOT Texas Ranger! pitching today in the Futures Game on ESPN2, it seemed like time to create an official Taijuan Walker "Norris-isms" thread.
So let's go to the archives and see what we've got so far:
Taijuan Walker once struck out eight Colorado Springs Sky Sox. Then he got off the bus.
Taijuan Walker doesn't need offensive support. Opposing batters offer to score runs for his team.
When Taijuan Walker pitches, a "plate appearance" is when the batter asks the umpire if he may return to the dugout now.
Taijuan Walker can throw the solar system to the other side of the universe. He struck out Orion on a belt-high fastball.
When Taijuan Walker pitches, "relief pitchers" are the ones on hand to administer first aid to the opposing batters.
Taijuan's fastball doesn't rise. It causes the world to sink. [mojican]
Taijuan doesn't observe the strike zone. The umpires say to themselves "its just a game, it isn't worth it" when they think about calling a ball. [mojican]
The announcers stopped calling Taijuan's opponents "hitters or batters" and instead opted for the terminology of "victim" and "statistic." [mojican]
Taijuan doesn't throw the ball. He just opens his hand a little bit and lets it think that it is escaping. [mojican]
Don't let mojican have all the fun!
I hear-tell that this-here digital technology is in-ter-act-ive. It runs both ways!