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When Taijuan pitches, home plate umpires use a swat team bullet proof shield.
Official Taijuan Walker Norris-isms Thread
He takes on the Big Apple on ESPN2 Sunday
In honor of Walker, Seattle Mariner NOT Texas Ranger! pitching today in the Futures Game on ESPN2, it seemed like time to create an official Taijuan Walker "Norris-isms" thread.
So let's go to the archives and see what we've got so far:
Taijuan Walker once struck out eight Colorado Springs Sky Sox. Then he got off the bus.
Taijuan Walker doesn't need offensive support. Opposing batters offer to score runs for his team.
When Taijuan Walker pitches, a "plate appearance" is when the batter asks the umpire if he may return to the dugout now.
Taijuan Walker can throw the solar system to the other side of the universe. He struck out Orion on a belt-high fastball.
When Taijuan Walker pitches, "relief pitchers" are the ones on hand to administer first aid to the opposing batters.
Taijuan's fastball doesn't rise. It causes the world to sink. [mojican]
Taijuan doesn't observe the strike zone. The umpires say to themselves "its just a game, it isn't worth it" when they think about calling a ball. [mojican]
The announcers stopped calling Taijuan's opponents "hitters or batters" and instead opted for the terminology of "victim" and "statistic." [mojican]
Taijuan doesn't throw the ball. He just opens his hand a little bit and lets it think that it is escaping. [mojican]
Don't let mojican have all the fun!
I hear-tell that this-here digital technology is in-ter-act-ive. It runs both ways!
Taijuan doesn't throw the ball. He just opens his hand a little bit and lets it think that it is escaping. - See more at: http://seattlesportsinsider.com/article/mariners-minor-league-game-actio...
Taijuan's fastball doesn't rise. It causes the world to sink. - See more at: http://seattlesportsinsider.com/article/mariners-minor-league-game-actio...
When Taijuan Walker pitches, "relief pitchers" are the ones on hand to administer first aid to the opposing batters. - See more at: http://seattlesportsinsider.com/article/mariners-minor-league-game-actio...
When Taijuan Walker pitches, "relief pitchers" are the ones on hand to administer first aid to the opposing batters. - See more at: http://seattlesportsinsider.com/article/mariners-minor-league-game-actio...
Comments
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When Walker pitches even Felix goes, "WhoooooooWeeeeee!"
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Whoever said nothing exceeds the speed of light never batted against Taijuan.
4
I came across this a few weeks back. Taijuan better be careful.
Best part is the last line:
A careful reading of official Major League Baseball Rule 6.08(b) suggests that in this situation, the batter would be considered "hit by pitch", and would be eligible to advance to first base.
5
"Pain" and "suffering" originated as nicknames for Taijuan's fastball and curveball
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One of my sons loves physics way more than baseball, so I'll share that one with him.
Awesome to tie it in with Taijuan as well.
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And had to use wikipedia as a verb!
A twin killing!
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The Coriolis effect was not named after a scientist. It was named in memory of a baseball player that Taijuan Walker hit with his curveball "Suffering".
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Walker, Seattle Ranger, is so baaaaaaad that even Chuck Norris trembles in his presence!
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Walker, Seattle Ranger...We're not worthy!
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That was an awesome article. Never thought in terms of the molecules being stationary.
Accelerating a baseball to 0.9 C would create the equivalent of a nuclear explosion? Is that the scientific consensus, I wonder, or conjecture...
............
Now my question would be, at what velocity WOULD you start achieving detonation effects like that ...
They say the Navy has tested railguns that fire 7-lb. projectiles at 5,400 MPH and that doesn't do it, so... you wonder how fast they can accelerate the tiny aluminum bullets...
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For sure in our e-book we'll need an article following up on this one : - )