ChiSox 7, M's 3
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=== Hector Noesi ===
G-Money has taken to providing postgames that echo my own observations with 96.37% consistency. Do you think he should be more worried, or me? Here is his own mini-postgame. This will apparently serve as the expanded version. You're a sports fan, so you're good with replays. Question is whether you want fourteen replays of Adam Dunn's home runs.
Montero called for the same stripped-down Max Scherzer style attack game that he did last time around. Fully 40 of 58 pitches were fastballs, and the rest* were changeups. Noesi demonstrated that, as of April 2012, this is a bit much to ask also. Montero's pitch call, and Noesi's result, is analogous to giving Tim Tebow, or Andrew Luck, a 12-play arm wrap ... and then watching the QB turn the wrong way in the backfield half the time, and get decapitated for six sacks and four picks.
If you don't shed the dude for anything else, shed him for the tempo. C'mon. It's fastballs low and away every pitch. What is with the 30-second internal dialogue when it's the pitch he threw at 11 years old? He's standing there thinking, "Oh, man. This is going to be SOOOOooooooo fun that I just need to savor the moment ooonnnnnne more second."
...........
Wedge took his own turn in decapitating Noesi, yanking him in the 2nd inning with the bases empty, giving him no opportunity to finish on a stronger note. This could be a presage to a role change.
Hector Noesi is young, rich, and he has had pro scouts say that he's going to be better than Michael Pineda was last year. It's no tragedy for them to hit the reboot button on him. He's a big boy.
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=== Erasmo ===
You know the Red Light game we played as kids? One kid is the stop light, turns her back to the crowd, then whirls around RED LIGHT! and if she sees anybody moving, they're back to the start. But while she's turned and the light is green, you try to step several strides forward...
Erasmo four looonnnnnng, gleeful hops forward tonight towards getting to be the next stoplight kid. He looked thiiiiiiis close.
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=== Und Take Zis Mit You ===
M'man Sgt. Wedge wasn't kidding about DH'ing Miguel Olivo, was he? The men asked me to tell you. We feel it's a bit over the top there, sir.
We've got a saying in chess. If you find yourself having to play pawn to King's Knight Four to save yourself on move 10, you should find yourself another opening. ... if you find yourself DH'ing Miguel Olivo, you should find yourself a different 25-man roster.
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=== Montero's Throwing ===
After the early 3-for-3 returns on SB's, we issued full disclosure on Montero. All three throws had been dubious. Bears watching.
Tonight, first runner took off and Montero picked a slider out of the dirt to ALLLMMMOST nail him at the bag. WEXXcellent throw. Then the second runner, Montero gunned down and Blowers raved. Great jump by the runner, he says, the kind of great jump that will make rookie catchers panic.... nope. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.
The major league SB rate was 72.2% last year, meaning that runners averaged 3.6 stolen bases per 5 attempts, so Montero's 4-for-5 rate has cost the Mariners nothing,* in terms of results. We're just saying. What we'd wanted to rule out was the idea of 17 stolen bases per evening. Rather, we've gotten league average stolen base returns. Par is a good score.
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=== Chris Sale ===
As G-Money said, he was a zombie redneck horror daddy version of Charlie Furbush. Or a Randy Johnson wannabe. I don't care if I have to say it 90 times in a row; Chris Sale woulda locked down anybody on Friday. (Against Josh Tomlin it was their own fault. There, happy?)
In the first inning, Baggins worked a walk and Ackley hit a mondo tough low-away pitch for a line drive over SS. Ichiro went to 2-0, if I recall correctly, and then .... Chris Sale threw him a Randy Johnson slider. Ichiro missed the ball like I don't know when. Chris Sale went, uh, what? Are you serious there, meat?
Sale threw another slider and Ichiro took another stinky garbage swing. It was like John Kruk and Randy Johnson. Sale threw another one and Ichiro topped it into the dirt. Sale threw another one and Ichiro fanned. The baseball game was OVER.
.........
You might remember that Carter Capps is on the same career timeline as Chris Sale. We don't wanna hear any excuses, Jack. We want Carter Capps. Don't bother writing for an extension; the answer will be, "No."
Slap me silly, what glorious roto pickups Chris Sale and Carter Capps would be.
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BABVA,
Dr D