Top Ten Things Howard Lincoln Could Have Said to Seem Even More Out of Touch
I don't usually participate in piling on the Front Office, but the Howard Lincoln interview was filled with so much comedy gold, how can you resist?
Top Ten Things Howard Lincoln Could Have Said to Seem Even More Out of Touch
10. "Safeco Field has AWESOME ushers! Love those ushers. And the guys who roll out the tarp! Bud Selig tells me every year how we just dominate at that."
9. "Look, it's not about me. It's not about how hard I work to make our city, no, in fact, the entire region, a better place to live and work. It's not about how much success I've had, or how much money I've made for Nintendo. So don't worry about me. ... What was the question again?"
8. "You bet I hear it from the fans. Why, just the other day, the guy who restocks the caviar in my limo fridge let me know he thought Jamie Moyer was blowing too many saves. And, you know, I had to chuckle, since everyone knows that Randy Johnson is the closer. But I hear you. I do."
7. "Do you know how many fundraising galas I have to attend in a year? [*starts singing in gospel style*] Nobody knows the troubles I've seen ... ."
6. "Pujols and Hamilton could be tied for the batting championship next year, you just don’t know." [no, wait, he did say that]
5. "We're really good at everything except for that whole 'baseball' part ... but who's counting?"
4. "I can't really put myself on the hot seat, but, if I could, and, of course, I can't because that would be up to Nintendo, and, of course, Nintendo has full confidence in me, because, well, I've been very, very successful at everything I've done, and the community really appreciates how much I've done to enhance our quality of life, so, no, of course, they wouldn't put me on the hot seat, but, if I could ... well, it would be really hot. Ouch! Like sizzling hot. Because I feel the frustration. But I can't put myself on a hot seat. No, becuase Nintendo has so much confidence in me. But, boy, if I could, yeah, it'd be really hot. You bet."
3. "Money? Is there money involved? I've been so busy dedicating myself to the enrichment of life in our little part of the world, that I kind of forgot. But, sure, if we make a little extra scratch in the process of our community-building, well, I suppose we won't turn it down."
2. "We saved the darn team from Tampa already! Just be grateful that you've even got a team at all. We did that! We're heroes! Deal with it. Now get off my lawn!"
1. "Did I mention the ushers?"