Dealing with Having a "Man-anorexic" as a Friend
What goes through the minds of those who wish to lose weight the unhealthy way, via anorexia, is something I have a hard time grasping. The same friend that suffered a traumatic incident of attempted suicide wishes to be pre-incident thin again. I feel that the need to want to be thin was one of the factors, among others, that made want to jump four stories down in the first place. It’s an ugly and vicious cycle!
It breaks my heart that I can’t help him see that what he’s doing is unhealthy. How anybody can survive eating two bananas in one day or a 100-calorie granola bar on an eight -hour shift or overdosing on diet pill or any of the combination, is beyond me. On top of that he’s glad when his stomach growls and starving himself. My son takes in more calories that he does. What happened to old fashion dieting and exercising? Eating healthy and taking care of ones’ self doesn’t have to be boring.
Of course I can totally drill it in his head that what he’s doing is totally wrong, but it’s not going to work. He chooses what he wants. His body is taking vital nutrients from his bones just to survive. All I’m thinking is that with a calcium deficiency, his bones will become brittle and break in the areas that were previously broken. Someday this will inevitably send him back to the hospital and could quite lead to his undoing, yet again.
My friend is suffering from “man-anorexia.” I feel like I’m that guy from a famous Salvador Dali painting where he’s holding his face with his face with his mouth gaping. There has to be a way to get through to his head somehow, but at the same time I know I can’t change someone’s mind when they themselves refuse to. The feeling of powerlessness is so nagging and irritating to watch my friend spiral out of control unless something happens that makes him realize what he’s doing is unhealthy. Ugh!
Another question would be; should I keep my distance or try and help him? Negativity is contagious and I find this whole situation to be very negative. Yet at the same time I feel I have some sort of duty to save him from himself. Or is it a lost cause? It’s just not fair.
I know he’s not happy with himself and that is why he does what he does. I guess this is his way of dealing with it to lick his wounds inflicted by who knows what. Perhaps, I should accept it? Sigh…