Mayor de Blasio Accidentally Murders Poor Groundhog
In a recently exposed and shocking news report, it appears that the Mayor of New York, Bill de Blasio, is involved in a cover-up. The Mayor seems to be guilty of murder and he’s been using his influence to hide the truth. The victim of this heinous crime? A groundhog. Apparently, back in February, on Groundhog Day, de Blasio dropped the star of the day on the ground. Now, some are saying that this innocent furry creature died of his injuries and that the government is covering it up.
Of course, others are saying that’s complete BS. In fact, if you watch the video of the event in question, you can see that the groundhog doesn’t take that big of a dive. And these critters are pretty dang durable, certainly enough to handle a fall (or more like a jump) of four feet. So who’s trying to pin this murder on our fine Mayor? I suppose that will be next week’s mystery…
Photo courtesy of Cephas via Wikicommons