Call to the bullpen for ... LHP Peter Mark Roget
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The word "Thesaurus" comes from an old Latin word meaning "storehouse" or "treasure." In 1852, Dr. Peter Roget published a treasury of "English words and phrases," apparently to be used as a toolbox for writers.
Treasury?! The single most, um, embarrassing thing a writer could admit -- much more embarrassing than admitting plagiarism, which implies that you're beating the system -- is that he needed a thesaurus to find convincing words.
... Donny Osmond, when he was a kid, cheerfully admitted that he used a thesaurus to come up with song lyrics, and he was forever done as a Serious Artist. Totally insincere, don'tcha know.
The Artist Formerly Known as Dr. D has no dignity left to protect, so he'll tap the left sleeve and call Roget out of the bloggy bullpen to give him the last three innings off. Peter Roget, a LOOGY, takes his eight warmup tosses and then, unlike M's starters, goes to his own bloggy strengths ...
LHP Roget stretches, comes sidearm from first base, :ahem:
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EMBARRASSING implies an external distress that causes a person to become suddenly self-conscious:
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MORTIFYING carries the connotation of a severe and vexing embarrassment, often with the idea of subduing one's vitality or will:
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A HUMILIATING occurrence is extremely destructive to one's self-respect or dignity. It comes from an Greek word that means to lie very low, such as a "humble" river that drops below sea level:
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DEMEANING is any situation which greatly lowers one's status or reputation:
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UNSETTLING can express embarrassment, but more frequently conveys the idea of upsetting, disturbing, or discomposing:
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Good effort, lefty. Hit the showers. We'll get you a chance in a tight ballgame next time...
No matter what happens next, we've got to acknowledge that the Astros series was a low point in Seattle baseball history.
The Times, Prospect Insider, and other places are calmly reminding us that you've got to go until at least mid-May before reacting too strongly. They're right, of course.
Think of the Angels. They've got Trout, Hamilton, and Pujols, and they're 2-6. Their ace has a broken arm, and he was clocking 85 MPH before he broke it.
Their #2 pitcher is fading fast -- walks going up, ability to throw cutters going down. (Both of these fading pitchers JUST SIGNED their long-term deals.) Their #3 pitcher, Blanton, just struck out 0 batters in his second start, after giving up 3 gopher balls in his first game.
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If it's me, Danny Hultzen makes Blake Beavan's next start, but the TNT just ruled that out of bounds -- that's the kind of thing only Bill Bavasi and Mike Hargrove would do, sez Ryan. Hm. Is that accurate? Would calling up Danny Hultzen be worthy of ridicule?
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Objectively speaking, the M's are fine. See you at the ballpark for the Supreme Court.
Come on you Gooners,
Dr D