.

Q.  Does EVERYbody in the blog-o-sphere like Chrissy Cap on the cheap?

A.  Yes, up to and including Spec.

.

Q.  Surely this obligates Fronk'n'Furt'r to go contrarian.  What's the case against Capuano, 1 year, $7M?  

A.  Well, that's the Dodgers' official position:  Capuano is not worth 1 year, $7M.  So obviously there is one.

News you can't read anywhere else:  the case against Capuano, 1 year, $7M is a good one.  That case is:  Chris Capuano is now a reliever.

.

Q.  Oh.  And you don't pay relievers $7M per year, not if they don't save games.

A.  Certainly the Mariners don't.  Maybe Daniel Bard made $7M one year?  :- /

.

Q.  Wouldn't Capuano make at least 10 starts that way?

A.  Yes, which ::drumroll ::

 ... makes him a reliever.  

Get your nose out of your WAR for two seconds, you gumball.  If he's not in the rotation in early April, he is a reliever  :: new paragraph ::

Like, he could add WAR to his baseball card by starting, that he could.  

You could (and you will) get any reliever to do that, such as Brandon Maurer, Erasmo Ramirez, Blake Beavan ... Hector Noesi, any NRI, shall we go on?  Piling on bulk WAR, by cobbling mediocre 5 IP 3 ER starts, that isn't adding value to the ballclub, even though it will show as such on Ganfrafss.  

Blake Beavan could poach the same cheap WAR that Capuano could.  1 WAR is the new 0 WAR, babe.

.

Q.  The Mariners don't want 3 youngsters in the rotation.

A.  No, but that's not a reason for you and I to root for Chris Capuano.  Look, Erasmo Ramirez has already pitched very well in the rotation.  

Does Billy Beane have an aversion to four unproven starters at the same time?  I'm not going to ::golfclap:: because of the Mariners' psychological handicaps.  

Capuano as starter, meh.  Capuano as reliever/#6 starter, with a minty-fresh arm all year, that is an entirely different conversation.

.

Q.  But I'm sensing that you like Capuano.  Your case-against doesn't have its usual wet snarl to it.

A.  Chris Capuano, at this stage of his career, is considerably more than one more dime-a-dozen #4-5 starter.

When Capuano is minty-fresh -- and only then -- he is going to rack up 7K, 2BB, 0.9HR performances for you.

.

Q.  What do you mean, "when he is minty fresh"?

A.  Capuano is age 35, oft-injured, and a control specialist lefty.  In his specific case, this means two (2) things:

• His arm can't take much
• He's got his release point down pat

He can therefore suffer a "LEFT shoulder latissimus strain," hit the DL for 3-4 weeks, then come back and IN HIS VERY FIRST OUTING --- > fire a 3-hit, 0-walk shutout* against the New York Yankees.

James used to speak of Scott Bankhead, John Tudor, and these guys like that:  "As long as they can crawl out of bed, and lift their arms above their heads, they'll be able to get hitters out."  That is the way with Capuano at age 35.  

.

Q.  So he's the anti-Paxton.  Underwhelming, but as consistent as a Spectator blog article.

A.   Right.  USE HIM LIGHTLY, talk to him sweet, and he's well capable of delivering 80-120 innings of championship performance.  

By "championship performance" we mean, "not mediocre performance."

.

Q.  You didn't like Randy Wolf as a reliever.  Why Capuano as a reliever.

A.  Correction:  I loathed Randy Wolf as a reliever.  But Capuano's splits are getting wider as he gets older.  Capuano's stuff is jussssst sharp enough that he's a load for LH's.

Roll him out there to relieve Taijuan for 3 innings, to face a lineup one time, 5 lefties ... you've got three shutout innings in the bank.  Man, I'm kinda jittery typing that.  You got the Rangers and Fielder in.  Taijuan, then Capuano, then Rodney, see ya wouldn't wanna be ya.  And you got Felix tomorrow, you sorry Crabtrees.

I think of this "swing man role" as the Ramiro Mendoza role, since he was doing it when I first got into roto, 20 years ago.  It's hard to find a really good swing man!  The more so to get LHP's doing it.

.

Q.  So the UP scenario for Capuano is?

A.  A marvelous season as the 2nd lefty out of the pen behind Furbush ... with a side order of 6-10 "surprisingly" good starts ... a 140 ERA+ mostly in relief, and a championship contribution.

Mark McLemore, except on the mound.  Chris Capuano could be just ready for a season of two of remarkable performance as Ramiro Mendoza / Steve Karsay.

But.  You don't pay $7M for a reliever.  He'll take reliever money?!  Say, $5M times two years?  That's a Michael Bennett-class value pickup.

On the day the M's agree with Mr. Capuano to pitch 120 innings for the local ball club, then ... on THAT day, Dr. D shall dance the futterwacken most vigorously.

.