Men

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Grizzle tapes on the tinfoil for this morning's festivities:

I'm with you, Matt. But it runs far deeper than just the guys calling the shots with respect to player development. There was, to my recollection, a fairly complete turnover of those folks that came in the seasons after Jack was hired, with no real improvement. The minors are churning out pitchers, but then the M's minors have been pretty good at that for quite a while.

I would clean house in the organization, top to bottom. There is some kind of cancer gnawing at the bowels of this organization and it's going to be tough to get it out. It's not just Jack, just like it wan't just Bavasi. It's not just Mather just like it wasn't just Armstrong. It's not just #Lincoln. It's not just Gwynn. Some healthy flesh (ie good employees) will have to be sacrificed in order to get that cancer all out. Coaches, trainers, physical therapists, medical staff, marketers...I advocate a near complete purge. The trick, I suppose, is finding the person or persons to manage the organizational rebuild. People that can manage big organizational change are rare...and almost never the person you want running things in the long run.

- See more at: http://seattlesportsinsider.com/comment/108680#comment-108680

Rick, we presume, sez

Maybe Paul Allen should buy the Mariners. Then he could trade for Russell Wilson, and sign him to a rich guaranteed MLB contract to avoid the NFL salary cap! Contract issues solved for the Hawks! Win forever. In all seriousness though having a unitary involved owner can't hurt. 

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And maybe Chuckster will hold a "We Tried"-style press conference in which he says "It's time to get carried away."  The idea of Allen purchasing the M's has come up and M's reps always respond in the chilliest way possible.  The suits are having fun, kids, even if we're not.  There's an air of royalty you breathe in the back recesses of the Safeco facility.

That said, Pat Gillick was able to reprise his Toronto / Balmer / Philly shtick here with absolutely the greatest of ease.  We've got to find a way to hammer that square peg into the round hole.  Gillick, and to a lesser extent Piniella, were able to get their top hands onto the knob of the bat in the "Who's Up First?" game played against the lawyers.

How could it be reproduced, 15 years on?  Do you know any Gillicks / La Russas to whom Lincoln would defer this time around (post-Gillick grad study era)?  Me either.

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MadBum and Felix came into the game #5 and #6 in the BJOL Starting Pitcher Rankings.  The shape of their performance triangles was neither tall/thin nor short/squat, but that of a D&D 20-sided die.

Bumgarner's performance on the evening?  Heavens to murder-troyd.  

The first time through the lineup it was 9 up, 9 down, 6 by strikeout.  This might have been done in the Clemens 20K game?  I dunno.  I do know that in boxing, you stop the fight.  In football, you start running the ball, eating clock, and playing for a 27-7 score.  In English soccer, you "park the bus."  Ten men into the goal box and hope for a 2-0 loss.

It harked ye back unto the Michael Spinks - Mike Tyson fight.  You looked over at the undefeated light*-heavy in the left corner, and you looked over at the whatever it was in the right, and you thought "please don't let them find the bell, please."  Spinks had a perfect record.  They rang the bell and Tyson went over and threw a Bas Ruttan Liver Shot Left Hook.  Spinks went through the ropes, convulsing.  He never (yup) fought professionally again.  

The pernt is, as Bumgarner took his first windup, you had that same little slow roll in your stomach, please don't let this game take place, please.  There are a few sports contests that take on this pre-game air of inevitability.  Probably the Hawks-Manning Super Bowl.  Usually any Arsenal Gunners games, which are normally "won in the tunnel."  Certainly any public debate that a random beat writer wished to chance against SSI.

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J.A. HAPP

A quality start, nominally.  6 IP, 3 ER.  Remember when beat writers used to guffaw about a "4.50 ERA" being quality?  I haven't heard that one in a while, have you?  It's like a 13-game hitting streak.  Some o' those games had .250 batting averages in 'em, but string together a quantity of such games and you're gonna be hokay.

A Shandler Quality Start 4/5, in the sense that he had good Stamina, good Domination (K within 1 of his IP), good Command (walks half of his K), and good Mistake Avoidance (no more than 1 HR, and it Happ-ens that homer was kinda bad luck).

At this point we have pretty well triangulated Happ:  he's got a zinging little fastball that he commands very well, a lousy offspeed game, and strong mound presence.  Which has compiled to ... what, exactly?