Sexy Sex in Your 30s
For the past few months, I have been sleeping with a thirty-year-old man. I have to admit that I never thought that it would happen, but I suppose that my husband was going to turn thirty eventually.
I’m not far behind him.
The thing about sex in your thirties, whether you are single or married, is that you start to lose confidence in your body—especially if you are a woman, though men can do the same thing. You might have put on weight, lost hair (my husband’s has tiny streaks of gray, which I happen to love), or simply changed. Many of us have battle scars from pregnancies or other surgeries, too. The important thing is to love yourself and your body; your partner obviously enjoys it or he or she wouldn’t want to sleep with you!
But if it’s still a hard thing to do, here are a few ideas for some smoking sex in your thirties.
- Use a mask. My best friend thinks this is just the best thing you can ever do in bed, and I have to say it’s one of the most fun, for sure. With your partner’s eyes completely obscured, you can feel uninhibited to do what you want to do—but it’s also exciting for him or her, since your partner will not know what you will do next. The excitement and anticipation will drive your lover crazy!
- Role play. If you’re not yourself, you might be more confident. You could simply create an alter ego to meet up with a lover in a hotel, or you could go all out and play Batman and Catwoman or Robin. My husband goes ga-ga when I go goth, for some reason; I used to look it when we first met, so perhaps that’s why. Mrs. Lovett from Sweeny Todd seems to be his favorite…
- Take turns pleasing one another. Devote one night to your pleasure, then another to your lover’s. Then you can really relax as you focus on him or her, making that your goal instead of thinking about how you look so much. Then you can relax as he or she pleases you next time. This is also a great way to find out new things that you enjoy.
- Use candlelight. Everything looks more sexy by candlelight! And I don’t advocate sex in the dark all of the time—many of us are visual creatures, after all, and I don’t want anyone to be ashamed of themselves—but sometimes it can be fun just to go bump in the night, so to speak, and not see a thing in the process.