Tips To ... Avoid
After last week’s declaration that I don’t play mind games with women, I decided to write an expose on “advice” being offered to single males via the Internet that in reality are just negative mind games.
Some male spoilsports who have their head always in their pants seem to think certain rules of the emotional road don’t apply to them, especially when it comes to their quest to seduce women; and seduce them without a care in the world for their mores and/or social status.
Here is one lulu of a thing to say back to a woman’s “I have a boyfriend” reply to your asking her out that I found on a website called “How To Get A Girl To Like You”*:
Her: Sorry BUT I have a BF.
You: (Laughing) Come on! We just met and you are already telling me your personal problems?
What’s wrong with this?
-It is rude.
-It gives the impression of objectifying her, not respecting her as a person.
-It is disrespectful of her status.
-It is cheesy as hell and can be easily parried by any female anywhere.
In fact, this is just a more sophisticated version of the “I don’t care about your boyfriend!” comeback one woman once told me about.
Right after the above quoted sample comes an even worse “tip”:
That’s just a sample, though. You can easily come up with other ways by getting an ounce of those creative juices flowing. This is what I do personally when I ask a girl to go out and she says she has a boyfriend. I say: If he makes you happy, then you can bring him along.”
After that, without waiting for a response, I ask her: “Does he make you happy?” From her response, I will decide if she is worth pursuing. Most of the time, the girl will have complaints about her BF and that gives me something to work with…a topic of discussion.
Uh oh, this is manipulation in the extreme, not only disrespectful but borderline misogynic if you ask me. You can’t get a girl to like you by acting like this, man. And it is none of your damn business whether her boyfriend makes her happy or not! "You think you can do any better, big mouth?" Is my question for the author of that "tip."
Even more hideous is this gem I came across in an article simply entitled “Boyfriend-smashing techniques”**:
If she injects the boyfriend into the conversation unsolicited, a simple diversion to whether or not she plans to marry him might be in order. I always use it if I decide NOT to bring him up and get her to talk about him favorably.
Another thing I like to use if she is DEFENSIVELY bringing up her boyfriend is "so where is he tonight?" If she doesn't have a good excuse like he is working late because he is a stock trader, I play her into a "he's cheating on you right now" mentality. Chicks can't stand that. PLUS they have to carry this with them from now on. I break down their BELIEF in what their boyfriend TELLS THEM he has to do.
Oh man … not only is all of the above creepy, it also shows that any man who uses it cannot be trusted as being worthy of a long-term relationship and that he is just an immature loser who is going to wind up alone when he dies because he sees women as trophies for conquest in the name of soothing his immature ego. “I may not be much, but look how many women I’ve slept with! That gives me value in life.” Is the justification offered by such men even if they never say it out loud.
Sure an insecure woman might fall for such crud; it only will hurt her self-esteem in the long run if she does, though, so don’t fall for the bull quoted here, ladies. In fact, tell any guy who is trying to pull it on you to go stick it in a knothole in the fence and leave you alone.
As for all you dudes out there: if you have genuine feelings for a girl who has a boyfriend at present, that’s fine. Just respect her while you stand your own emotional ground at the same time and do not try any of the crap quoted above on her. You’ll thank me in the long run, man, for by ditching such manipulative mind games, your chances of winning her actually improve, because she will know you’ve got integrity and genuinely like her for who she is as well as the fact you find her beautiful.
Finally, not pulling this kind of crud saves you hours of needless angst when the consequences of such crass actions inevitably catch up.