Toughening up: It's a generational thing and how you see it (and voted) might depend on whether you grew up listening to Johnny Cash or Everclear. Both are songs about absent fathers. The first is of a young man becoming a man filled with hatred but finally appreciating that his dad gave him a girly name to toughen him up. The latter is of a young man lamenting somewhat angrily about his absent father's half hearted attempts to show he cared, e.g., "you sent me a birthday card, with a ten dollar bill, I don't understand you, and I guess I never will."
Father #1 would be lambasted if not downright arrested for insensitive and abusive cruelty today. The kid would today grow up in a world of inclusion, and there would be no admonishing him: "kid, you gonna have to git tough or die." The child would celebrate his diversity, I suppose, and hopefully could find a college safe zone in case some mean kids did tease him.
Father #2? I dunno, maybe he'd get a short lecture on trying a little harder to show you care. But who's to judge, so long as he didn't do something really horrible, like tell his kid not to act so gay.
Who's the better father? Father #1 would be considered something of a monster in both generations. But...he toughened up his kid, so we older dudes cut him some slack.
Father #2? Well, that's probably half the dads these days.
One other thing: hazing - in which you are treated cruel to belong to a club - is a thing of the past. That's probably a good thing, because it can be terrifying. But it was probably designed (or allowed anyway) to "toughen one up." But then, it, as well as other ways to "toughen one up" were done in an era that didn't include easy access to guns, before the era of the mass murderer who then killed himself, and lawyers/lawsuits. All you were allowed to fight back were your fists.