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I dunno Matt, it sure looks like hyperbole to me. Especially since you told me to read it twice. Slooooooooooowly. So I was sure to comprehend. Now you've asked me to read it again, with more attention to detail and a finer parsing of the erudite words in between the bolding and extra exclamation points.
Maybe I'm just still too dumb to understand the big words coming out of your mouth. Thankfully you're here to educate me.
~G