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So...what is the most likely (horrible) outcome that our current offense can/will assemble in 2012? Help me out here...I'm trying to be pessimistic enough to fit in at USSM.
Montero struggles behind the plate and ends up DHing to the tune of a 115 OPS+ (simmilar to Jose Vidro only with a lower OBP and a higher SLG)
Smoak continues pressing and hits .220 with 14 dingers again.
Ackley has a sophomore slump and hits .265 with minimal power.
Seager fails and is demoted, leaving Figgins in charge of third where he hits .200 all year.
Ryan starts at short all year and hits .225 because he gets tired...Kawasaki hits .150 for 50 ABs and then is released.
Guti grows an alien i his gut and hits .135 before being DFA'd.
Wells doesn't stick and is eventually traded for a reliever of no repute.
Trayvon strikes out 250 times per 600 ABs (prorated) a la 2011's outfield experiments.
Ichiro hits .250 and returns to Japan at the all-star break.
Oivo can't stay healthy and Jaso gives up an 85% steal rate while also not jelling with pitchers.
King Felix demands a trade.
Vargas continues to be mediocre, which is fine, but he then gets traded since he's the only guy on the team with any trade value.
Iwakuma and Millwood both hit ST with 84 mph slowballs and are both released.
The kids aren't ready yet.
Beavan stops defying gravity and gives up 3 homers per nine innings.
The league books..um...League. He no longer is effective.
Did I miss anything?