That's What He Does. That's All He Does, Dept.

=== 1984 to 2084, Dept. ===

In 1984, the first Macintosh computer came out.  It came in gorgeous 21st-century packaging, offered dazzling 1984 features, and most of that year I used it for word processing and a little 2D scroller dungeon game.

It had 128K RAM, a 32-bit processor, and cost $2,950, which Cindy enthusiastically recommended we fork over.  It had no hard disk - a 5MB external was $2,000.  That, I skipped.

My engineer father-in-law, and programmer brother-in-law, both scoffed.  They assured me that command prompts offered the more efficient way for human beings to work, not pulldown menus used as crutches by morons.  

These debates had a higher bitterness xFIP than the "Pitchers need a 3rd pitch" debates did, and I didn't enjoy them nearly as much.  As with 98-mph control artists, however, once the preseason beanball wars were over, the product itself was a joy.


The 1984 Macintosh was intentionally cute -- 2084 robots were so unimaginably intelligent that they could change events in the past, allowing them to infiltrate society with this cute Trojan Horse

This distracted 99.9982% of humans from the fact that in 1984, the first human being was killed by a robot.  (Yes, really.  An industrial robot accidentally crushed a factory worker in 1984.)

It would be some 96 seasons before robots achieved perfect operational records, at least in the Human Eradication Dept., but humans sensed the greater issue immediately, as the below MSNBC footage proves.  Note the second human victim pointing out the problem to the third (off-camera) victim:

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=== 2084 ===

Exactly 100 years later, because Dr. D couldn't operate the first 2-joystick military interface, robots took over the world permanently:

with great pitchers.  

It's cool that Vargas and Fister have figured out a few ways to get people out.  It's cooler to be a robotronic death machine.

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Be Afraid,

Dr D

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Comments

1
ghost's picture

That was the longest way to get to a baseball metaphor that I've ever seen anywhere...LOL BW, you and my father were both mega-dorks...his first computer was a Commadore 64 and he also used it for word processing and a scrolling text dungeon game (called ZORK...the Z was just to hide that it actually represented dork-dome everywhere). You big nerd, you. :-D If you'll excuse me...I'm going to return to calculating park factors through 25-dimensional matrix analysis. What? No...that's not dorky!

2

Have to confess to a little ZORK myself... 
Speaking of park factors, where do you have Safeco these days?

3

Mac Classic, do you remember that one?  Now there was a computer.   Small, slick, and at one time did what it did very well. Cute...in an Ewok kind of sense. It WAS productive.  Wouldn't want one now, though.
It was soon out-paced by much better models.  Today, the Mac Classic belongs in the wilderness or junk heap of computing.  It just can't get the job done in this computing world.
A Chone Figgins who could actually hit, do you remember that one?  Now there was a player.   Small, slick, and at one time did what it did very well.  Cute...in an Ewok kind of sense. It WAS productive. Wouldn't want one now, though.
It was soon out-paced by much better models.  Today, the Chone Figgins belongs in the wilderness or junk heap of baseball.  It just can't get the job done in this Major League world.
True dat.
Don't have a clue what Zork is.  Do you guys remember the arcade game Missile Command?  Now there was a classic.
Free Dustin Ackley!
Kennedy would look great in a third-baseman's uniform.
moe

4
wufners's picture

If I remember right, John Connors plays Missile Command right before being found by Robert Patrick in Terminator 2.  See how neatly everything in this thread ties together?

6

And ya, it was cool that young John Connor already had a taste for defending cities :- )
Now if only Pineda and Felix can shoot down the scuds that the Bronx Bombers will pelt LF citizens with...

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