Back in the mid-80's, W.P. Kinsella, of Shoeless Joe/Field of Dreams fame, published a collection of short stories.  One of them was a weird/wonderful quasi-apocalyptic tale titled "The Last Pennant before Armageddon."  If you've not read it you should.  Really.

As the Cubs zero in on a league championship and then on a World Series title, their grizzled manager becomes convinced that he is having reoccuring visions, sent from God, warning that a Cubs' Series win will signal and bring about Armageddon and the end of the Earth.  What is a manager to do?  End the drought and the curse or end the world?

15 years ago, or so, my closest buddy, Jim Akre, gave me a xeroxed copy of the story to read.  We shared a lot of good reads.  I've never forgotten that one.  Akre was a born and bred Cubs fan.  He grew up in Chicago, headed west (barely) to Minnesota for college, then more west to a teaching career here in Oregon.  He was an educator of rare quality, truly a master teacher, and a mentor to all who worked with him.  Students loved him: He challenged them, demanded much and they produced.  He was a state championship football coach, a connoisseur of fine bourbon, made a wicked Manhattan, was a poor fisherman but All-Universe company in my drift boat, and he touched the lives of all who knew him.  In all ways, he was a hail fellow well met.  He once sent a letter to the Cubs applying for the managerial job and saying that a small group of us teachers, with varied backgrounds and skill sets, would serve the ball club well, ala the College of Coaches that the Cubs employed in '61 and '62.  He was kind of serious.

He died several years ago of a weird but persistent form of cancer.  I delivered one of the eulogies.  I didn't do well.

I've been thinking about him a lot the past week or so.  About 2 minutes after the final out last night, Kinsella's short story jumped into my mind.  I wasn't worried, mind you....but an event of this tectonic proportion might surely upset the natural order of things for a bit, even if Armageddon stayed away.

But today, all seems pretty normal in the world.  Normal in a Campaign 2016 type of way, I should say.  No less normal than yesterday, anyway.

I'm aware that Kinsella's work was pure fiction but one never knows about stuff like this. 

But maybe my good friend Jim Akre, educator extraordinaire, managed to teach the Fates a thing or two about proper decorum.  Or maybe his teaching abilities entranced them and they missed the Cubbies' win. 

I don't know.  But I'm willing to bet that he had a hand in the win and in the calm that followed.  That 10th inning rain-storm smacked of Akre involvement, for example.

And so I've thought of him today.  I was a bit jealous of this:  I went to work while he poured Heavenly Manhattans.  You guys would have liked him and he would have loved this site.

At his retirement bash 10 or 11 years ago, I wrote and read this hypothetical letter to Jim from the Cubs FO.  Now, part of it* seems eerily prescient. Weirdness.  Weirdness.

Dear Mr. Jim Akre,

We would like to sincerely thank you for your longtime support of the Chicago Cubs Baseball Club.

We realize, of course that our yearly collapse while in the middle of a pennant race can wear on our long-suffering fans, such as yourself. However, we must point out that some of those recent collapses came well into the season, indicating a promising future.  In 5 of the last 7 seasons we were still in the pennant chase well into May and once into June. One year our mathematical elimination didn't occur until nearly August!  We think this shows true Cubs' potential.  We would like to ask you to look at our club, not as a glass half empty but as one half full.  All true Cubby fans follow the example of the late, but still well preserved Harry Carey and look at any half a glass as half a glass  of past enjoyment and half a glass of future intoxication.  We would ask that you hold true to this spirit and become intoxicated with the Chicago Cubs during your retirement.  This, of course, will ineveitably lead to a long headache but true Cubs fans have long endured more.

We also appreciate that you are one of the few Cub fans that understands the true nature of our yearly swoon---knowing, as you do, that a Cubs' pennant would most assuredly bring about a cataclysmic end to the earth!  Continental collision, volcanic eruption, fire from heaven, Hillary Clinton being elected president*, real Old Testament, wrathful God stuff!  So you see, in a sense, each season the Cubbies self-destruct but save the world.

it was out intent to send a  distinguished Chicago Cubs delegation to your well-deserved retirement bash.  We tried to contact Tinkers and Evers and Chance but have somehow lost track of them.  We will continue trying.  Ernie Banks refused to come unless a double-header banquet was thrown.  We did, however, contact a former Cubs ballgirl, the lovely Marla Collins.  Marla is a little bit long in the tooth now-a-days and gravity has long taken its effect on her most outstanding qualities.  She is a gamer, however, and a true Cubby fan.  As such, she is most eager to meet you and give you one of her own unique personal congratulations.  I'm sure you can hardly wait.

In conclusion, we would again like to Thank You for a lifetime of supporting the Chicago Cubs.  God knows, it hasn't been easy!

Hey, Jim Akre, this Bud's for you!

Moe

The * was actually written at the time.  Jim was a conservtive guy in many ways but sure loved to argue the liberal agenda.  I was poking at him.

A tip of the glass to my SSI brethren.  Thanks for indulging me here and for being such good friends.