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THE GOOD

I was sitting at breakfast like age 9.  On the back of the cereal box it said something like "ORDER NOW!  FREE SLINGSHOT WITH TWELVE CAPN CRUNCH BOX TOPS!"  I snickered with my mom.  Who do they think they're kidding?  Does ANYbody send in for that?

My mom smiled gently, which wasn't her habit when being asked for money.  "Well, honey, if you were going to buy the cereal anyway."

IF AND ONLY IF (IFF) the 49ers wanted Chip Kelly anyway, then maybe Kelly's attempt to call Kaep out of the tomb means that Kelly comes with a bonus #1 overall draft pick.  Whether you buy that, that they wanted Chip Kelly under any circumstance, we'll leave you ta judge.

....

If Dr. D were a 49er fan, he'd be excited to watch Chip Kelly team up with a quarterback who can do the physically impossible.  The vectors and angles and breakaways and pace will be fun, fun in the sense of getting Carmelo Anthony onto a 25-57 team.

As well, many of those Kelly plays require one simple read.  The Cover Two guy stays back, throw the out.  He comes up, you throw the Tim Crabtree ball.  Obviously that could work as long as you weren't playing some defense like the Rams or Seahawks or Cardinals or something.

And Kelly is brighter than we are.  He'll be able to craft plays with a fine feel for what Kaepernick can read and what he can't.  No, stop smiling.  If there's one guy who can position Kaepernick to succeed, there you go.

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THE BAD

Since when do you bring a coach in for one player?

Let's say, if the Mariners hired Bobby Valentine because he was the only person in the world who could get Robinson Cano to hit .300 ... would you feel pretty good about that as an M's fan?  I mean, not even dealing with the question of "Why can't 99 other great coaches get Cano to hit .300?"  Supposing Bobby V *could* solve that one problem.  Now what?

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THE UGLY

NFL coaches all, every one of them except Chip Kelly, attempt to "screen" or "cover" their defenses from coming under too much pressure.  We won't go into all the details right now, but ... in the NFL you get a crack in the dam and you're liable to watch 8 straight scoring drives against you.  

It sounds funny to say "the defense was out there 38 minutes" because the offense was too, right?  But!  When you are the athlete responding to the unexpected, it takes far more energy. Try doing "Up-Downs" with some yokel screaming them out at his discretion.  Versus doing them as you decide to do them.

Wes Welker comes off the line and knows where he's gliding to, can gather himself into the cut.  Cary Williams nervously reads the cut and then must EXPLODE to get there.  It's just a different thing, defense.  And NFL defense is much worse that way than NBA or MLB defense.  Chip Kelly is going to put that young 49er defense out there on its 50-yard line three times in ten minutes, and it's gonna get yoogly.

It ain't just my theory.  EVERY major college coach and NFL coach wants to buffer for his defense, give them rest, give them 5 first downs' margin.

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THE INFAMOUS

If Dr. D were a 49er fan, he'd be looking foward to The Show.  But he would also plan on another re-boot in two or three years.  SSI would give the chances of that re-boot as 80%, 90%.  There was an alternative here for RGIII and Kaep and Manziel and these guys:  video room first, entourage later.  Naaaah.

Now, off to Niners Nation...

Cheers,

Jeff