How ZZ got famous with early songs like that one, before they learned to stick to 12-bar blues and poppy IV-VII chords, you got me ... but then, how did Dr. D ever sign with ALTK Records waving a Young Frankenstein poster?

We heard quite a bit on the X this week.  Jump over to KIRO 710, slam in the Mar. 10 archive, advance to about 9 minutes in.  Shawn Kelley talking about starting.

I don't mind telling you, I regurgitated for joy.  Well, okay, I stopped typing for a minute.

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I/O:  Kelley reports that he went to Rick Adair and asked about starting.  Adair goes, so, what are your thoughts about that, Shawn.  Shawn goes, I started in college, I'll do whatever helps the team -- (1) start, (2) close, or (3) something else if you insist.

Pretty much.

CRUNCH:  As SSI surmised, Drayer wasn't going to start blogging about a controversial role she pulled out of her computer bag.  She didn't navigate into the crucible of the jock talks without stepping around land mines.

On the radio, Drayer brought up the issue of Kelley's role gingerly -- hey, so you're stretching out for a few innings - how much stretching out is that?  Smile, raised eyebrow.

So, yeah.  The X is deep in Mexico, but press your ear to the box close enough and you'll hear it right.

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I/O:  Asked what stretching out means and why he's stretching out -- just added versatility to be the long man?, Kelley goes right into, I went to Rick (Adair), told him I was a starter in college, told him I'll get them 3 outs, 15 outs, 18 outs, whatever they want.

Kelley wraps it up with his own wink and nod:  look for me to go 3-4 innings sometime over the next week or two.

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CRUNCH:  SSI's read on this is that the Mariners were somewhat bemused by Kelley's polite Can I? Can I? and now they are thinking about ... thinking about it.

The stretching-out is kept on the downlow, as much as possible, but you know what a nuisance the locals are.  I can't beLIEVE them sometimes, how little regard they have for in-house politics......

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CRUNCH:  Kelley also clues us in that health is not an issue for him, either.  He had simple TJ in college, came back from it, and is (obviously) airing it out with no problems now.

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CRUNCH:  Dr. D is Doogie's biggest fan, but gimme a lotto ticket at Shawn Kelley in the 5 slot .... and it's like Kobe with a girl sideways under one arm and he sees a foxier one?  Slap the pavement when you hit the ground, Doogie.

Kelley is a far better pitcher than:

• Doogie:  almost certainly (unless Doogie pulls a Brad Radke plus)
  
• Vargas:  completely certainly
• French:  there is no honor in my fighting you, Frieza
  
• Olson:  in the sense that Olson is a better pitcher than me
• Snell:  without any question
• RRS: 80% chance
• Most AL starters: probably
• All but 10-15 AL starters:  possibly
  

In terms of the hit that Kelley would deliver to the body of the AL West, and the midrange staying power, think Jeremy Guthrie a couple of years ago.  Landed with a splash in 2007, looked like a beast for 10-12 starts, held the status of "impact SP" for two years, gradually tailing off until arm fatigue and the book caught up to him.  That's the modestly-pessimistic scenario for Kelley.

A lot of times we have to take best guesses, like with Doogie.  Shawn Kelley as a SP is no best guess.  I'd draft him 20th, 25th among AL SP's, sight unseen.

Shawn Kelley as a SP would be a 1-800-SHTICK bonus call, lock of the year.

BABVA,

Dr D

ALSO:  Shawn Kelley as SP?!