Flavor text:  that text on a collectible card game's individual playing card that (1) has no effect on the game, (2) proves and accomplishes nothing, and (3) adds characterization to the escape fantasy aspect of the game.

This legendary dragon is a powerful engine of destruction. Virtually invincible, very few have faced this awesome creature and lived to tell the tale. - We forget whether this is the flavor text for Blue Eyes White Dragon, for Felix Hernandez, or for the cash register at Intentional Wok.

The Japanese translation on that card is, purportedly, This legendary dragon is proud of its high attack power. Its destructive power is unfathomable, it pulverizes any opponent.  Don't I wish we could get some translatons for each Mariner player, under their photos on the CF scoreboard.

Anyway, we're not going to take the time to write these comedically, but .... well, we caught a ballgame tonight and here's a little useless characterization on each M's player we saw.

.

=== Ichiro ===

This legendary samurai is a powerful engine of ... oh well whatever nevermind.

Third inning, Ichiro got a 91 fastball low and in, pulled his hands back, and hit a 3-iron to the base of the wall in right-center.  Repko was on it very quickly, in fact picking it up the moment it hit the concrete below the pad.  Ichiro was well short of 2B and I figured, forget it.

Ichiro slammed the gearshift into 5th, screamed around second and Hudson frantically whipped the throw along to third.  I'm going, oh no, Ichiro is embarrassing himself on his Bobblehead night.

The camera cut over to Valencia, smothering the one-hop -- and Ichiro popping up on third brushing himself off!

...............

After a down season for SB's last year, in 2010 Ichiro's on pace for a 40-of-50 season, which will be the 4th-best SB season of his ten here.

...............

Lot of discussion as to Ichiro taking up a big % of the M's payroll.  I think the general point here is that the M's should raise payroll, but I missed the memo, so check me on that.

Whatever Ichiro's % of payroll, the question is whether you can spend $18M to get more than what he gives you.

1. As a rule, [an $18M HOF player and talented Scrub] >> [two $9M Civics].
2. But in this environment, maybe salaries are so pedestrian that you really could get, say, a Dunn and a Bedard for that $.
3. I really like having three center fielders.  It's very hard to find a RF who is faster than your CF.

The M's might, or might not, be able to get more production for $18M.  But one hundred years from now, Ichiro is going to be part of Americana.  Or, whatever Americana is called at that point.

.

Part 2

.