Q.  Is there any cure to the gopheritis?  He's allowing 1.3 homers lifetime.

A.  No, because it is his willingness to throw up in the zone that ---- > gets him the 7+ strikeouts per ballgame.

Chris "Duke U" Capuano is a master of attacking batters up, in, outside the zone,  and it's only the fact that he risks HR's that allows him to get swings under the ball.

As you know, righthanded flyball hitters get kneecapped here.  It only stands to reason that the same would be true for LHP flyballers; it's exactly the same thing, viewed from the numerator rather than from the denominator.

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Q.  Safeco would help that how much?

A.  A lot.

We saw some comment somewhere that claimed to track all of Capuano's HR landing spots and say that only, like, 10% of the HR's would be trimmed off of Capuano's greasy totals.

The reasoning is probably wrong, because

1. Landing spots change in the Safeco air; those "true" landing spots are not "true" here
   
2. The strategy of the game changes when LF homers are not realistic

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Q.  That's theory.  How has it been in practice?

A.  In practice, mediocre RHP's run 3.95 ERA's here, and dubious LHP's fatten their "black ink" totals here.

You just finished watching Jason Vargas give up a Pedro Martinez homer rate (0.8) while pitching with a Vote For Pedro arsenal -- an 87 mph cooler and one (1) other pitch.

Jarrod Washburn gave up an 0.7 homer rate here, his last season, and a below-average rate his four years as a Mariner.  That's home and away, cumulative, kiddies.  The park puts pitchers into a cheery-whistly good mood that he carries into nice long grooooooves' worth of quality starts.

Erik Bedard was running a 2.48 ERA with a body that only Young Frankenstein could love.  Transplanted elbows, hips and the shoulder was missing a transplant.  Well, okay.  Including Bedard is kind of chickenfeathers.  So go read MLBTradeRumors a dozen more times, if you don't like it :- )

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As a general rule, Safeco has helped MLB(TM) starters more, rather than less.  The early SSI theories about Washburn/LHPs and Safeco, over which we received mucho harassment, are jelling.  SSI can assure you that Chris Capuano's stuff is miillllllles better than either of those two pokeys'.

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Q.  If necessary, would Capuano make a good LOOGY?

A.  Only in the sense that any real good lefty SP would be a good LOOGY.

Hey, Capuano has a 490:219 control lifetime against righties.  ... of course he's a nightmare for lefties, but he works through lineups three times.

Milwaukee won't pencil Capuano in for one of the first five slots, so he's gone, end of story.  I don't blame him; I'd do exactly the same thing.

Felix first, Bedard second (he's pitching for a contract in March) and then Chris Capuano can pitch three for me any time.

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