Accused. Tried. Convicted. of LAZINESS.
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Q. Is Dr. Detecto routinely genteel and friendly towards the Mariners' front office?
A. Routinely.
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Q. Explain to us, again, why Bill James has been on that crusade that --- > LH relievers are overused?
A. Thusly:
- The platoon advantage is .040 worth of batting average. It ain't a big fat hairy deal.
- Managers put mediocre lefties in to replace good righties - the gap in pitcher quality often (far) exceeds the generic platoon advantage.
- Managers also put BAD lefties in to replace good righties.
- Managers also bring lefties in to replace good RHP's who are throwing great that night.
Look, kiddies. Are you going to pinch-hit Willie Bloomquist for Brad Miller, because you're so flippin' obsessed with having a curve ball break in towards the hitter? The direction of the break renders the individual player obsolete?
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Q. Surely managers are aware of these numbers.
A. Yeah, but they don't want to fight the battle. "Hey, I brought in my lefty to face Prince Fielder. Sure, he went upper tank and we lost. But it ain't on me."
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Q. Maybe Joe Beimel is a good pitcher?
A. He is not a good pitcher, no. I'm not talking opinion. I'm talking fact.
He throws an 87 MPH fastball, most the time. He mixes a 78 MPH curve, the rest of the time.
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Q. What LOOGYs have done well with this repertoire?
A. None. Absolutely none.
Well, put it this way. From 2011 to present, exactly five (5) out of about 200 qualified relief pitchers have thrown as slow as Joe Beimel does.
- Darren O'Day is a sidearming right hand pitcher.
- Javier Lopez is the prototype submarine left hand pitcher. (Sidearmers throw slow, kiddies.)
- Brad Zeigler has the fantastical ability to keep his grounder rate over 70%.
- J.P. Howell gets 8+ strikeouts per game, based on an epic curve ball and epic command.
- Shawn Camp had -0.8 WAR last year.
That's it, every exception in the last three years, 30 MLB teams, every roster, every month, all year. Those five guys survived with Beimel velocity. Every other reliever threw at least +1 MPH harder than Joe Beimel. You can't find a LOOGY who throws 87 MPH, because there aren't any.
Well, Lucas Luetge, maybe. :- /
*Darren Oliver is a platypus of baseball that we'll discuss another time. I knew Darren Oliver. Darren Oliver was a friend of mine. Joe Beimel is not Darren Oliver, any more than Anthony Vasquez is Jamie Moyer.
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Q. Maybe Beimel has extreme platoon splits?
A. Maybe not, no. Joe Beimel's lifetime platoon splits:
| AVG | OBP | SLG | |
| vs RH | .290 | .369 | .436 |
| vs LH | .261 | .320 | .404 |
Beimel is a generic left hand arm. There is nothing to see here. He is a Mariner because --- > when Prince Fielder takes him deep for the game-winner, it's not on the manager.
Joe Beimel has a lifetime ERA+ of 105, and it was 73 last year. In case you just joined us, ALL of the 2013 A's top six relief pitchers had ERA's well over 100. And let's examine Texas' five most-used relievers, shall we?
| Texas RP | ERA+ |
| Nathan | 297 |
| Scheppers | 220 |
| Ross | 136 |
| Cotts | 375 |
| Frasor | 161 |
A 105 lifetime ERA doesn't cut it for a reliever. Beimel's is 105, despite being spotted LH-on-LH. It's because he's not good.
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Q. What were the choices?
A. Dominic Leone was the best reliever in camp, bar none. We're talking about the scout's eye, but ... also he threw 10 IP, had 10 K, only 3 BB, no homers, yielded only a .176 average.
You stick Joe Beimel in there for Dominic Leone? You're pinch-hitting Humberto Quintero for Brad Miller.
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Q. Why was Leone sent down?
A. Zduriencik said that Smith and Leone are ready to go "but they're 40-man roster issues. They'll be up as the summer goes along."
I can think of 1 man out of the 40, whose spot Leone can have right now. Grrrrrrrr-rrrrr
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You could argue, hey, Beimel only allows a .400 SLG to the league's pool of left hand hitters; that's not suicide. But! The biggest problem comes when Danny Farquhar, or Yoervis Medina, are throwing well, and then you remove them from the game.
You remove a good pitcher, and bring in a bad one, because he gives you the illusion of security. The feeling of comfort takes precedence over doing what's best for the ballclub.
Get some good pitchers, whether right or left handed. If they're blowing people away, let them pitch a little bit. Just because your closer goes 1.0 IP, it doesn't mean everybody else has to.
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Q. Supposing you had burned Charlie Furbush, 2 IP on Friday, and you really had to have somebody you were comfortable with, to get through Choo and Fielder.
A. Danny Farquhar throws an unpossible, 91 MPH immolation cut fastball that sails inside by half a foot and makes lefties wish they'd never been born. Scrabble's platoon splits from 2013:
| AVG | OBP | SLG | |
| vs RH | .265 | .327 | .367 |
| vs LH | .171 | .256 | .229 (!!) |
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Q. Can the M's pen afford the luxury of mediocre-crummy LH-vs-LH indulgences?
A. They're looking out at Wilhelmsen through the slits of their fingers. Furbush is talented but volatile. Fernando Rodney is out of Tampa because the Rays were squeamish about him. The M's bullpen is scary.
But at least we can get the platoon advantage.
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Q. I don't quite get the "Lazy" thing.
A. Chessmasters call a move "lazy" when it is played thoughtlessly, when it superficially looks good, when it conforms to sloppy, generic principles --- > but fails to take into account the specific needs of the position. Laziness turns a great player into an okay player.
The lazy move is the one that nobody would question. It is the move that uses "general principles" as a human shield. It's the move that leads to defeat, but which avoids criticism. It's the second-rate move that fails to squeeze the maximum out of the position.
The lazy move refuses to impose one's will onto chaos. The lazy move refuses to accept responsibility for one's own fate. The lazy move sets one up to say, later, "At least we tried."
When you see a decent move, don't play it. Look around for a better one. It's the way that great men think.
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Q. Hey, there are other teams that want 2 lefties.
A. There used to be a lot of teams that bunted after a leadoff double. Didn't make it right.
McClendon wants three lefties. He sounds like he's matching Left Arm, Right Arm, Left Arm in the late innings, as if he were picking socks to start his day. Look, dude. ACCEPT the RESPONSIBILITY to find the move that wins your team a game. I mean it in a good way.
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Dr. D isn't accusing anybody of stupidity. But comfort zones make cowards of us all. Here is one area where many MLB(TM) orgs are definitely still behind the curve.
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Q. There's got to be a bright side here.
A. At least they've got Corey Hart in there Opening Day. :: punchline ::
... There's a bright side, yes. That occurs when Smith and Leone are called up from Tacoma.
Bah humbug,
Dr D