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Postgame

Lost Weekend in Mordor

It is long since we had hope, Sam

Posted by

jemanji

4/11/16

2nd-worst possible Monday morning text to wake up to?

FROM: BLUES

MSJ: attn human we have temporarily appropriated a selection of your body parts for study next msj soon

Worst possible being?

FROM: BBEANE29 @oaklandathletics.org

MSJ: hey you guys looked really improved out there

TOP 10 REASONS YOUR MARINERS VIEWING SHOULD PERSIST A SINGLE MOMENT LONGER

10. A proper sense of respect for Sauron.

There are several iconic places for supervillains to lair. Under the rollercoaster tunnels in long-abandoned theme parks; anywhere that is underwater-based; and O.co Coliseum. Beane finds underwater lairs more pricey to manage, so he cackles from the folding chairs in his GM suite. Don't forget that GM's box had, before last season, seen 93 wins per season over the period 2012-14.

Much as it pains Dr. D to admit it, the A's are often good under Billy Beane. And this weekend, they played a lot more like the 96 wins of 2013 than the 94 losses of last year.

True, these M's may prove to be better at 9-ball than they are at rounders. But three games is a small sample size (sic) and we know not whether Nelson Cruz truly blows chunks, or whether the A's were just great this weekend.

9. It was only two unlucky losses, since --- > Saturday definitely did not count. Dr. D calls Mulligan on the middle game.

In the top of the 1st against Karns, the A's fouled off 32 quality pitches and rolled two others through gaps in the shift. Karns held them to 2 runs in the inning but ... it was the bottom of the 1st that sealed the deal.

After Aoki beat out an infield grounder, Ketel Marte came up and took the lead in the count. Dr. D thought, "Here comes this 1.7% swing-miss action. No way Hill gets through this."

Whereupon Rich Hill threw two fastballs right by Ketel Marte and Dr. D resigned himself to a long, LOOoooooong night. Hey, Rich Hill had a 36:5 CTL ratio in 2015; he has thrown 5 games in this incarnation and butchered exactly 5 teams. Sid Fernandez was easier to hit than that weird Orc we saw Saturday.

8. At least you get to hear "RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES," blaring in your imagination, before every Orc postgame upchuck session.

Or hit the cell ringtone as you race for the porcelain.

7. Our Big Boys will hit.

MAYBE. :: bill murray, groundhog day, after catching kid, 'see you tomorrow' ::

Kyle Seager, for example, will not go 1-for-12 the rest of his life, the way he did against the Orcs. Adam Lind is relatively unlikely to finish the year slugging .063. etc.

The M's started a year 2-7 once, or something like that, and the reporters were in Lou's office tearing him a new earhole. Griffey and Buhner and Edgar hadn't done much. He rolled his eyes and delivered the iconic section header.

Put another way: Dr. D likes this lineup. He hopes this doesn't mean we're not friends any more.

6. Felix being Felix.

Another blizzard of K's in the GameDay, wherein --- > a batter was out, after NONE of the pitches finished in the strike zone. He has thus far given up only one batted ball of greater than 40 MPH velocity.

Okay, I didn't double-check that last stat. But still. If you're asking what Felix' velocity is, you're asking the wrong question.

... 89-92.

4. Major League Ballplayers are six sigma more resilient than we are.

"It's a long season," Cano said Sunday night. I think he meant the 156 coming up, not the 6 we just played. Still, just 'cause you and I blast the ring ref in the head with a towel after catching an uppercut, don' mean that Cano and Cruz do. Take two Texas victories and call Dr. D in the morning.

3. Karns is an SSI BEST BET.

And Saturday, for the record, he deserved far better than he got. First inning against Orkland:

Crisp got on
Coghland grounded out (woulda been a DP except for the steal)
Reddik whiffed
Valencia hit a ball right at shortstop, FOUR (4) bounces, but the M's were shifted, so cheap single

That grounder hits a fielder, then Dave Sims spends the next 5 innings talking about how good Karns is. Since it did not, Sims spent the next thirty pitches that inning talking about Karns' earned run average in first innings.

Lowrie also had a seeing-eye grounder that inning for run 2 ... I charted the pitches in that game. Karns' first 70-80 pitches, about 60 of them were quality, including a bunch of near-misses on the same side as the catcher's mitt, Orcs fouling off rawhide-tough pitches, etc.

The pitch Reddick hit out was the First. Pitch. That. Day. I thought was a meatball - an 85 changeup that missed high and in. Suffice it to say, if Karns continues to fan 9+ men per 9 innings, then the rest of the world will catch on. About mid-August.

... yes, we add Karns to the 5- or 6-player-deep list of Best Bets we've run since Tim Linececum. The only weird thing about it, is that there is anybody on the other side of this one.

2. Iwakuma could be a Dodger right now, you know.

And the number one reason you should consider burping, wiping off your mouth and taking a seat for the Iwakuma - Colby Lewis overcard:

1. This ain't the Seattle Sonics we're dealing with.

There are worse things than Kevin Mather and Jerry DiPoto.

See you at the ballpark,

Jeff

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Comments

Not an ounce of panic

Deep breaths are sometimes dang fine medicine. Jordan Spieth stood on the 12th tee yesterday and tried to squeegee one just 10 ft closer than he should have. Look where that got him. A deep breath and a step away were what every doctor in Augusta would have called for.

9 out of 10 doctors prescribed a deep breath for Mariner fans this morning.

The M's are the same team they were in ST. Heck, just a series ago some folks were considering ALCS ticket orders already.

We aren't this bad. Cano is right. It's a long haul.

But I wouldn't have minded seeing Lee NOT swing from his heels at two heaters he couldn't catch up to. Just a knock would have been fine there.

Time out for Augusta

Since you brought it up, Moe...

As long as I've been watching the tournament, it's tough to remember many memories that stand up to:

--Spieth on 12 on Sunday

--three holes in one on the same green on the same day

--Ernie Els putter meltdown on Thursday

...all in the same year!

Yes, there are dozens of other occurences in other years--but so many in the same week?

(also, what happened to 'limited commercial interruptions'?)

Knew we could count on you Moe

Very steady over the 4-footer on the 18th, I'll bet.

Still early

"It's still early"..."It's a long season"..."Small sample size"..."They will hit"..."The pitching will be great"..."Just wait"...

How many Aprils have we spent saying the exact same things? This still looks like a club full of hitters that are intimidated by their home ballpark to me. Tough to win until that changes.

We've been saying that, but...

Some reporter asked Steph Curry about the Warriors' 33-game losing streak in San Antonio. Like he's supposed to take responsibility for the 2007 Warriors? Those were different folks on that squad, no?

This is the Mather-DiPoto-Servais squad, and has little in common with the Kotchman and Chavez team.

.....

Like you point out, the only common denominator is the ballpark. Would seem odd though for Aoki, Iannetta, Lind, Lee, etc. to be psychologically imploded by Safeco in their first game there ...

Never understood why Gandolf didn't just whistle

. . . for his bird buddies to take Frodo IN to Mordor, throw the ring in the fire and skedaddle. Of course, the triology would have been a short story not three novels.

Meaning, you have to have difficulty along the way. Otherwise, there's no drama. We need difficulty, right? RIGHT?

Plot holes in the LOTR !@#$

You can't be serious. the reason the ring wasn't air mailed into the volcano is . .. . . .

is. . .... .

Dunno. Maybe if throwing the ring in were too easy, Frodo would refuse to do it, because he hadn't suffered enough to learn the true evil of the ring. Isildur waltzed into the volcano, and didn't throw it in.

Of course, after all that suffering, Frodo refused to throw it in anyway, but it is the thought that counts. Also, If Frodo flew to the volcano, Smeagol wouldn't have been there to steal the ring from him and fall in himself. Gandalf foresaw some of this when he refused to kill Smeagol in the Fellowship of the Ring. Gandalf's stated reasoning was that Smeagol still had a part to play in the story.

So, why not have Gandalf take the ring bearer to the volcano, with Gandalf throwing Frodo in as a backup plan if Frodo turns rogue? First, that puts Gandalf in a morally ambiguous state. He knows that the ring has a high probability of corrupting Frodo, so throwing him in to the volcano as a backup would be murder of a mostly innocent Middle Earther. Rembember that Gandalf is a Maiar, which is the Middle Earth version of a guardian angel. He is there to help nudge Middle Earthers in the right direction rather than win their battles for them. Also, like an angel, when a Maiar turns, he goes very bad, very quickly. See Saruman the Wise. Saruman turned bad at first by pursuing good in the wrong way, by building an army of henchmen, rather than taking the indirect route of influencing Middle Earth that Gandalf, Radagast, and presumably the blue wizards took.

Second, the birds in LOTR never show up until people have done the best they can for themselves. This reinforces the longtime Christian (nonbiblical) proverb that God helps those who help themselves. Eru Lluvatar guides and prods middle earthers with his Maiars, and then only sends the birds when all is hopeless.

Third, the war for Middle Earth returned Aragorn to the throne of Gondor, and strengthened the various alliances between men, elves, halflings and dwarves, the good guys of Middle Earth. War brought the best out of them, as they were prone to squabbles, greed, and overindulgence otherwise. C.S. Lewis, a longtme Tolkein literary buddy, was a firm believer that war brings the best and worst out of people. This may have rubbed off on Tolkein. The Lord of the Rings was written from War scarred post World War II England.

Tolkein has never been shy about declaring Middle Earth a work of Christian and Catholic fiction.

Also, from a literary standpoint, if the Deus Ex Machina is used too early and often, there is no story, like you say.

Daps.

Superman v Batman movie

Quite brilliant analysis, Mojo. And I'd completely overlooked your (Tolkien's?) idea that once a Maiar is seduced down the wrong path, he goes very bad very quickly. Revelation chapter 12 is one of the many NT passages that correspond.

Never thought of the birds as being similar to the Maiar in their 'rules of engagement' but that sounds right.

.....

Similarly, Luthor in the current Batman movie complains "I figured out long ago that if God is all-powerful, He cannot be all good" and vice versa.

This is a very common claim, of course, but it overlooks the idea that man is here to be free, to make his own choices.

Here is a nonsensical statement: "Pick a number between 1 and 10 that, when multiplied by itself one time, produces the number -37." An all-powerful being "cannot" do that, because it's not an actual task. It's not a paradox. It's just a string of meaningless words.

Here is another nonsensical statement: "Ock 23 cnitso yellow nifno des the Moon." Can God "do" that?

...

Another nonsensical statement: "I will let you make your own choices, and I will make them for you."

Another: "I will let you authentically choose between being with Me and leaving Me, and I will prevent you from leaving Me." Ock 23 cnitso yellow nifno des the Moon.

A resonant parable there TJM

I think your literary craftsmanship is bailing us out here ...

Sigh... That's a so overused criticism

The air above Mordor was patrolled by the Nazgul. While the Eagles were able to harry the Nagul and stop them from making easy strafing runs over battlefields they in no way would have been able to take a leisurely flight to mount Doom carrying the ring and it's bearer.

The rescue of Frodo and Sam occured after the destruction of the ring and Sauron and the subsequent annihilation of all his minions.

Never thought about the Luftwaffe

Bigger blips on the Sauron Eyedar

Yessss Preciousssss. Sauron was probably expecting an airborn assault from Eagles, led by Gandalf, Saruman Elrond, Aragorn or Galadriel as the new Ring-Bearer. Why? because that's what he would have done. The stated reason that the volcano was unguarded is that Sauron never imagined that someone would want to destroy the ring. It sounds like good reasoning that Sauron was loaded for bear on Mordor's defenses against Eagles, but completely unprepared for ninja halflings.

Vs. LHP

Martin 0-7

Marte 1-14

Guti 1-6

Lee 1-7

Seager 2-13

Cruz 2-13

Cano 3-17

Aoki 3-15

Total 15-92 Not Good!!!!

Martin vs LHP remains a huge concern. Marte had a .714 OPS vL last year.

You missed one Moe

I know you were only showing the main offenders, but the one player I think that needs highlighting...

Sardinas - 1 for 1 with a HR

Why does Sardinas only have one AB versus lefties???

Which is actually sort of the point :- )

Kyle Seager's true ability against LHP isn't 2-for-13. Nor Aoki's 3-15, Marte's 1-14, Guti feeble, etc.

Leonydas, I'll give you :- )

Almost

T-R, I almost laid down a bet that we would see Sardinas, maybe in CF-LF, vs the next LHP. Thanks for putting it out there. Those other guys will bounce, for the most part. Not Martin. But Marte will improve, too.

To the tune of "Yellow Rose

To the tune of "Yellow Rose Of Texas"

Well the bullpen down in Texas

Is the one we want to see.

No more the pen of Orc-town

Where we flail so futile-ly

Shoulda cried when we left Texas

For the Bay-town enemy,

But we hope to turn the corner

Into Boomstick revery!

This put the chimes of an old-timey piano in my head

Nice DaddyO!

How's the weather?

I was talking with my friend before the A's series and my comment was, "we'll see if the M's are on a hot streak as soon as they get home".

Iced!

There's a part of me that's absolutely convinced the Mariners suck in April because it's cold.

I know it's been mild this year, but the M's typically mope around with the weather.

This has been a common theme since post-Edgar.

Beltre. Lopez. Cano. We've had this conversation before.

How about we close the roof at sunset?!