Single Lance
[chuckles derisively] Heh.
[unspoken] I'm a Great American Sports Hero, don'cha know?
[to reporters] Aw ... don't know nothin' about that kinda stuff.
Double Lance
I don't know what they told Other Folks at that clinic, but, for me, it was all Above Board. We all strive for Cutting Edge, y'know. 'Cause that's what Great American Sports Heroes do.
Triple Lance
It's all a series of Unfortunate but Totally Above Board Coincidences. What part of "Vindicated" don't you understand?
Quadruple Lance
They are all Jealous, Vengeful Losers Lying to Make a Buck. They are Small People. They are not Great American Sports Heroes.
[unspoken] How dare they?
Quintuple Lance
We have crushed the Small, Jealous, Vengeful Losers tyring to make the Unfortunate Conincidences into Something They Are Not.
Why are you still here?
[unspoken] Uh-oh.
Sextuple Lance
We will be Brave and Courageous. We will Come Clean. We will Bare Our Soul. We will express our Deep Remorse.
[unspoken] Is this part over yet?
Full Lance
Which way back to the Gravy Train? Didn't you hear the part about our Deep Remorse?
If Montero is caught in the dragnet, will he benefit from the MLB players union or be treated like an unrepresented minor leaguer? It seems all bad for him at this point: not hitting, can't run, poor catching, demoted to the bench, demoted to Tacoma, injured, and facing suspension. What could get worse for him?
He's been a major leaguer, and he's still on the 40-man roster.
But, yeah, that's not much consolation.
I guess he's still under club control, and they won't have any need to "rush" him, so if he ever makes it back it will be because his bat finally can't be denied.