Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips - Prov. 27:2

Better for a man to die at birth than to fumble a football. - Shoat Cooper pre-game pep talk

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Let's introduce the dilemma with an obscure and confusing analogy.  This is SSI, after all.  ... We all know that it's poor form to spend a lot of time worrying about others' mistakes, but ... what if your choice is either (A) do that, or (B) not become President of the United States?  Which would you choose?  

Similarly, we all know that it's poor form to keep your own blog scorecard, but if it's (A) do that, or (B) not hold the traffic that in turns holds your gig, which would you choose?  :- )

Usually at this point, Dr. D chooses a third option:  crack open a can of processed liquid imitation cheese, grab a bag of Tostitos, and re-watch DragonBall Z into the wee hours of the morning.  As we all know, a man is defined by his choices.

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=== Lions and Tigers and Friars, Oh My ===

On June 12th, the inert San Deigo Padres dried out their gunpowder, scrounged a match and blew Felix Hernandez sky-high, dancing around the bases with nine clean hits, three walks, and five runs.  Felix fanned only three.  After this game, Felix had gotten "tattooed" in five of six starts.  That's 83% train wrecks over the course of a month.

A sustained patch of travail to this magnitude?, was (a) unique in Felix' history, we're sure, and (b) a study in the concept of "expectations."  If Hector Noesi or Blake Beavan gave up 4-5 runs in their next starts, as Felix was doing in May-June, Eric Wedge would bearhug them coming down the steps in the seventh.

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Following this 5-KO's-in-6-starts run, the most frequent question about Felix was, "How badly is he injured?"  The second-most frequent question was, "Will he still be a Grade A starter, now that he's lost his velocity?

Only in the slimy-but-agile mind of Gene Wilder was Felix on the verge of an adjustment and a hot run.  He wrote on June 13,

Q.  Does SSI fear, along with other sources, that Felix is injured?

A.  Nah.

Felix has now given up crooked numbers in 5 out of 6 starts, true dat.  And this is a guy who rips off 25 quality starts in a row.  Virtually.  So the fact that he's allowing earnies has thrown everybody into a state of confusion.  We sympathize.  Take two SSI articles and call us in the morning.

Q.  Are you saying that he's not injured?

A.  Not at all.  How could I say that?  I'm just saying he's not pitching like an injured man.  

The ball came out of Felix' hand as well as it has all year.  Admittedly, his command was a bit off, given the 11-day rest.

I'm not saying Felix was perfect.  Am just saying a ball here, a ball there, and we are celebrating, not calling for MRI's.  :- )

Since Yr. Hbl. Nostradamus scripted this quatrain, Hister's (look it up) battle has piqued, er, Felix' game lines have been

And on the 29th day, they rejoiced.  King Felix is back!  'cept for the niggle that King Felix never left, Dr. D would wholeheartedly agree.

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Felix fires a baseball past a Red Sox hitter and screams in passion, that's fun to watch.  But Felix going through some adversity, digging down and finding a way to restore order, going up against the Valdemort of sports failure and throwing himself off the cliff with him, that is what makes sports worthwhile.

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Part Two

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