Flowers for Algernon, and for Joe Saunders
Charlie, you got a lot of guts coming back here Dept.

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Feb 7 update - if you REALLY don't get this, Mo' Dawg is willing to spell it out in the comments.  Thanks for coming in today.

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Studieth been done, saying that drive tired can be as bad as drive drunk.  I wadn't shure wad they ment by that until like now.  The potht won' be gud but its fun to type with yellow meemies screaming across the iMac dial.

Don't feeel like proving everything.  Will just tell you the truth.  My teacher said if I just tell the truth nobody will get made at me.  And oh, last night Algernon died.  They were real sad when they told me but I don't get why.  He had a real nice funeral and people cried and hugged me.

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=== 2005-11 ===

Saunders was in the Dime a Dozen Leftie Pitcher Familie.  Jarrod Washburns now doing the running acrross my iMac.  

Difference between Saunderses and Washburns, or AAA pitchers, just getting a chance and also they differ a teeny little bit of execution.  They know the right pitches too, Washburn and Saunders and Mark Clark and those guys.  Is cause catchers and coaches and computers and umpires tell them.  

These guys throw lots of straight fastballs but they throw them where they want a little better than AAA pitchers.

Bill James said all pitchers, if they didn't get hurt or cut (roster cut not hurt cut), would figure out some way to be average.  

Usually, sorry almost always, AAA pitchers go boom time and they don't find out how to be average.  Saunders, Washburn, Mark Clark, Oil Can Boyd, Bill Wegman, Bill Krueger whoops I like Bill, Bruce Chen, usually they got lucky one year (like by winning 15 games or like by getting drafted #4 in the draft) and then they always got time to figure out how to be average.

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=== Mechanics ===

Saunders has a throw that looks like he would weigh 350 lbs., but he really doesn't.  Not athletic and pretty as, say, silverback with club feet after eating fermented bananas.  Does short-arm the ball and hide it pretty good.  When watching him throw the ball I usually try to watch like the dugout so I don't have to look right at the throw.

Saunders keeps pitching a lot every year, his control last year was super nice to him, so the weird way he throws doesn't matter.  We just said it for not really any reason.

Except it's no fun to watch him when you could be watching somebody fun, like everybody who wants to be a Mariner pitcher.  Compared to him Jason Vargas and Rick Porcello and Kristie Alley are a lot more fun to wtach.

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=== 2012 ===

Three True Outcomes went to 5.7 strikeouts, 2.0 walks, and 1.1 homers.  He beat teams in the playoffs.  Jack Xurincik maybe thinks he can do good now.  If Saunders could do good like that, he'd be really good.

Except he won't do good.  His strikeouts were high but his swing and miss was not high.  He used 70% fastballs and guys who do good don't miss a slow fastball.  Sometimes pitchers just put the ball right where they want for like 20 starts.  

This happened to Esteban Loaiza one year.  It happened to Shiggy one year and he gave up 0 runs pretty much.  It happenned to Washburned one year REALLY a lot, in 2002 where it says in Awards that Washburned won the Cy Young that year.  Then Washburned needed only one other lucky BABIP year like 2006 and we gave him $400 millino, all the money we were supposed to give Randy Johnson.

Like if you see Sanders in this playoff TV show against the guys wearing red, Sanders throws the ball to that little blue rectangle where they just watch it.  But nobody can really do that, but he did it, but hed have to do it again and maybe he couldn't.

Pitchers have times where they can't miss the glove but it's only for a while.  For sure that was the way with Saudners last year.

With some guys they do good and it's because they got good.  Other guys had some good games.  Funny but Bill James says one season's worth of stastistics is usually not enough.  He didn't say enough for what.

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=== Righties and Lefties ===

If you go look at Saunders throwing to right batters they slugged .500 against him last year, and it was his great year.  He really could do good late in the game against Josh Hamilton.

Maybe Saunders could like throw a lot more curves and changeups next eyar.  But my teacher says those kind of questions aren't supposed to ask any more once we get out of first grade.  Jarrod Washburn wasn't going to use his lots of curves and changeups.  I forget why but he wasn't going to.

Today; we learned; the; semicolon; its; used when yowant; to; say two things; and don't have; a period.  Sanders throws 70% fastballs; his curve and change don't work against righties; his short arm doesn't work against righties; he doesn't work against righties.

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=== Dr's Prognosis ===

He has heard that there are neat pitchers available to play for the Mariners.  Maybe they should use them instead.

Nitey nite,

zzzzz

 

 

Comments

1
ghost's picture

I don't think I've ever seen a blogger go that far for a funny way to make a point. :)
If you're basically saying "only a moron would think Joe Saunders was a better idea than James Paxton"...then I would agree. :)

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M's Watcher's picture

She isn't fun at all to watch any more. She's just overweight and not as attractive as she was when she was younger. Maybe we're all not as attractive as when we were younger. Oh well. Don't trust anyone over thirty, at least anyone that doesn't throw 95. Let's use the neat pitchers available to play for the Mariners. It's about time.

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One of the worst Oscars in history: Cliff Robertson's.......
OK, he looked decent in one film, just decent mind you. But that doesn't mean I'm casting him to play Patton or Vito Corleone.
I'm not casting Saunders for M's SP #4, either.
Next.
moe

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Dr. B's picture

Perhaps this was the intention, but man this article was tough to read.

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Rob's picture

You haven't been reading long, have you? Jemanji's writing is notoriously...uh...hard to follow.

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glmuskie's picture

Loved every confusing word of it! Fantastic.

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But i think that was the point. It's particularly difficult to see Saunders being an upgrade even if you focus on him being a lefty.
I looked through stats pretty thoroughly to try and find supporting trends. Dave Cameroon had a summary that pointed out the most pertinent I saw, on Fangraphs
" Because, realistically, Saunders is a situational lefty masquerading as a starting pitcher."
" While this year’s results are more extreme than most, Saunders has always posted huge platoon splits, and has never really been particularly effective against right-handed batters. His vs RHB wOBA over the last four years:
2009: .361 2010: .358 2011: .347 2012: .359
Keep in mind that league average is now about .315."
I've already said my piece about what we have and my preferences. I can see an upside to Porcello much easier than Saunders.
The style of the book was well captured and entertaining, by the way.

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It's been too, too many years since I read "Flowers For Algernon," but I think the style of the post is intended to reflect the style of the novel, which was well-known and controversial in it's day. If I'm wrong on the imitative style, please correct me, Doc.

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I really hope a new person doesn't think this is your grasp of the english language, but I was dying reading this.
Thanks Doc.
And yeah, Saunders is a way to make some people (read: managers or FO execs) more comfortable with the roster, not a way to make it better. Any maroon should be able to see that...
~G

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Synopsis: Flowers for Algernon
Following his doctor's instructions, engaging simpleton Charlie Gordon tells his own story in semi-literate "progris riports." He dimly wants to better himself, but with an IQ of 68 can't even beat the laboratory mouse Algernon at maze-solving. Then, an operation turns him into a genius and introduces him to heartache.
The movie version was "Charly" (1968). Cliff Robertson campaigned furiously for, and won, the Oscar. He beat an incredible Peter O'Toole in "Lion in Winter." O'Toole's performance is a tour de force. Robertson's is simply good, at best. I believe his is recognized as the first overt campaign to win the award. He took out ads and all.
Imagine if Hawk Harrelson had won the AL MVP in '68, instead of 31-Win Denny McLain and you get the idea.
There you go.
moe

11
misterjonez's picture

having been raised on television and video games, but this struck the perfect chord with me even without being 'in' on the joke.
Epic job, Doc. I could almost have seen this as a Sullivan piece (which I mean purely as a compliment). Loved. Every. Word.

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Thanks guyz, Mo, G, Jonezie, GL, et al.  Appreciate your presumption that I might not have been using my best grammar :- )
For Dr. B, Rob, etc, here goes ; - )
..............
1.  Flowers for Algernon the book, or Charly the movie -- as Mo' Dawg says -- involved experimental surgery on first a mouse, and then a human, to raise intelligence.  The mouse gets super-smart, so they try it on the man, who quickly gains like a 250 IQ.  Then everybody looks on in shock as the mouse begins deteriorating.  Charly takes it with good humor, realizing with everybody else that he's going to become a 68-IQ case again.  When the mouse actually dies, and they cry and hug Charly, Charly is back to his 68 IQ and doesn't understand why they're so sad about the mouse.  (In the book, Charly survives, and goes back to work in the little shop where they resented his "holier-than-thou" genius so much.)
2.  Sunday, I hit that point where people were telling me "Man, you should be in bed" and then 12 HOURS LATER I staggered in to write a post for yer Monday morning coffee.  The first sentence was an unthinkable chore ... to amuse myself I decided to just go with it and type it in a 68-IQ style.
3.  The little joke is that even a lobotomized Charly, or 68-IQ Dr. D, would be able to see that Joe Saunders is a AAA pitcher who caught a break.  
4.  Do you think Jeffy would annotate one of HIS posts for you?  I think NOT
5.  "That's very funny to me :- D .... ya'll ain't laughin' though :- / "  ::will smith::

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Saunders' WAR the last four years:  1.1, 1.6, 1.1, 2.5.   He's getting paid for close to 2 WAR, when it would seem quite appealing to try a young pitcher for that level of WAR production.  I mean, in four years you would expect Blake Beavan to reproduce those WAR's, correct? 
Market value tends to be pretty strong for meatball SP's who have proven their reliable mediocrity.

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M's Watcher's picture

Is it ever worth overpaying for reliable mediocrity while saving our super-prospects for another year of minor league development? There may be a good chance that one or more of our prized prospects would out-pitch Saunders in 2012, but instead we can keep them in AAA and gain another year of team control. OK, so I'm being a little sarcastic. Do we have to wait for them to be ready to win the ROY or Cy Young before promoting them? Or do they just need to be the best player we have for the job this spring?
I will consider that Millwood as an innings eater was probably worth more to the club in 2012 than his actual WAR value, mostly because the best alternatives in-house were in AA. Saunders may still be relative bargain over his WAR value as insurance, not that any of the kids may not be ready, but to temper the loss of Vargas' and Millwood's innings, and that Iwakuma, Erasmo, and Beavan don't falter any.

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Mesully's picture

He only needs to be better than Noesi for 1/2 of a season, then we can memorialize him and let the best of the big 4 have a shot.

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