.
Uses, side effects, and interactions: MELKY OTC is used to treat 513-run depression and anxiety. In addition, it is used as an anti-emetic. MELKY may improve your mood, energy, and appetite for $6 boiled weiners. MELKY should not be taken with handfuls of promising young club-controlled players, as dangerous Rule 5 player diarrhea may lead to acute dehydration. This medication works by helping to restore the balance of certain natural substances to the scoreboard.
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Precautions: Before taking MELKY, read Dr. D's leaflet Scars and Stubs carefully. This drug may make you extremely bored and drowsy. Never combine with CYoung OTC or other inert starting pitcher medicines, as dangerous sleepwalking may cause you to plummet from the 3rd deck and perish in a large pile of peanut shells.
Do not avoid MELKY in preference to home remedies that have not yet been tested on humans, including but not limited to miller, taylor, petersen, kivelhan or any non-seager home remedy. The literature on MELKY is extensive and its efficacy has been established in more than 6,782 clinical trials.
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Reviews: In contrast to drugs like prince, hamilton, arod and similar psychedelics, MELKY is unlikely to cause serious side effects.
The gold standard for FDA approval is BaseballHQ's prognosis of RC/27. The following drugs manifest the associated RC/27s for the coming 2015 trial period:
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| PLAYER | RC/27 |
| MELKY | 5.7 |
| Nelson Cruz OTC | 5.6 |
| Matt Kemp OTC | 6.2 |
| Justin Upton OTC | 5.8 |
| Hanley Ramirez OTC | 6.3 |
| Pablo Sandoval OTC | 4.9 |
| Yasmani Tomas OTC | 4.8 |
| Um ... Kyle Seager | 4.9 |
| League Average | 4.3 |
| Dustin Ackley OTC | 3.8 |
| James Jones OTC | 3.3 |
| Kendrys Morales OTC | 3.0 |
| Cole Gillespie OTC | 2.7 |
| Stefen Romero OTC | 1.9 |
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Drug Warnings: patients who are prone to WAR-per-dollar abuse may attempt to combine several Gillespie- and Romero-type drugs in an attempt to potentiate MELKY-type effects. This is likely to lead to dangerous run suffocation, coma-like effects in the stands, and .500 records for Felix Hernandez.
Dr's Prescription: take MELKY confidently for scoreboard anemia. Take twice the recommended dose if suffering from subdermal LOOGY infestation that is removing your will to live. Do not use MELKY where authentic Stars & Scrubs medications are available. MELKY will not be habit-forming. Its use should be discontinued after four cycles.
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Or as Bill James once said, when Jose Offerman was moved to first base. "The Royals don't need a certain kind of good hitter. They need good hitters, period."
Take two FA's and call me in the morning,
Dr D
And a Great White Shark was recently eaten by "Leviathan." I can't decide which is more disquieting or unlikely.
Follow SSI on Twitter @clarke_jeff. ... urp, I feel nauseous typing that. :: reaches for the melky ::
There will be random stats, noodling and inanity going out in the Tweets. Micro shtick. This is getting ridiculous.
Well done, as usual Doc. As the resident pharmacist, I play one at work, take one Melky each evening (around 7:10 PDT) and call me in the morning.
It's a better place wit'cha. And Matt and Gordon and all the other SSI regulars. Glad I found y'all. Now we can really get this convo going!
I feel that much more ridiculous with their calling me 'Doc.'
HEH!
Is your profession as cool as it sounds, Skip? I always thought if I was going to pursue a pleasant, nicely-rewarding career (other than my own) it would be pharmacist or (if I could face down the barrel of that much school) a dentist.
...........
... yeah, actually I'm forced to admit that Twitter thing has its merits. For one thing, it's underlining for me just exactly how lazy I am .... just when I thought I couldn't work any less, here come 25-word posts. How 'bout we just junk SSI and DOV so we can thumb-type with one hand while staring at the TV ...
:: morphs into jabba ::
Thanks amigo :- )
Truly had me laughing out loud. Inspired stuff. And yet, got as good a briefing on the matter as possible. I'm concerned about the defense however. Can an OF of Ackley-Jackson-Melky adequately patrol the Safeco outfield and provide the necessary offense? No thumpers, and there appears to be a deficit in athleticism (throwing, for example).
Hilarious, Jeff. Actually, I think you will find that twitter adds to your workload some....you still have to post to two blogs, but now you get to also add shtick on Twitter and try to follow conversations...I don't use twitter a ton because I find it confusing and scary.
If nothing else, Jeff, twitter is useful for driving traffic to SSI. Especially if you link new posts and it is retweeted. Matt can probably/likely address the algorithm but the universe expands exponentially each time tweets are retweeted and on and on. Or something like that.
But Melk man is a solid hitter and AJack is a good candidate to rebound. The outfield shouldn't hemorrhage runs anyway.
The m's have Nelson Cruz, Robinson Cano and Kyle Seager to put crooked numbers on the scoreboard, with Morrison, Ackley, Zunino and Miller/Taylor as candidates for an offensive recovery. I expect a few of our hitters to splat against the windshield, but I feel confident each draw we have has a decent chance of hitting.
So in terms of catching flies, the OF should be fine even with a bad RFer. It's when you have tow bad fielders that things get worse in a hurry.
For 900 years have I read shtick. This post might be my favorite.
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:
When combining MELKY with CANO, CRUZ and SEAGER, side effects may include anxiety, tachycardia, manic episodes, euphoria, and disorientation. Talk to your doctor about combining MELKY with other drugs if you are diabetic, pregnant or have high blood pressure.
Actually enjoyed that one, because I've read so many of those leaflets the last year :- ) The text in there echoes the warnings I get about the Lorazepam R/X. Come to think of it, I wonder what would happen if you combined SSI noodling with Ativan...
No, no, I'm not a drug abuser. I just play one on the internet.
I'm pretty booked up on real-life medical stuff. Maybe we all should create a "Doctor" persona or something.
We had the manic episodes covered already, but we appreciate the BP caution!