Aug 27, 2010: Twins 6, M's 3 - Flavor Text, 3

=== Jose Lopez ===

Looks flat, lifeless, static.

The quickness isn't there.  The joy isn't there.  Safeco has checkmated him.  At this point, I'm signing off on the NonTender and we can cry into our lemynade like we did with Carlos Guillen.

...................

Adrian Beltre is now relaxing into his swing and he's carrying a 140 OPS+ into September.  I am here to assure you that precisely the same (kind of) thing will occur with Jose Lopez, starting with the first game he plays as a non-Mariner.

Safeco is a joke.  Armstrong fancies that a baseball purist appreciates the drag on scoring, but this park utterly destroys right hand hitters over time.  Guti is next.

If they're not going to address the Beltre/Lopez fiascos (fiascoes?), the least they could do is go get 9 left hand hitters.  Oh, wait, they are.

...................

In the 6th inning, Jason Vargas served up a high 86 batting-practice fastball to Delmon Young, but it was a bit up and in.  Just since he'd grooved in the mid-80's velo, Vargas repeated the pitch, except this time the ball was out-and-over.

Delmon absolutely blistered a home run to left-center, flipped his bat away, and headed down to first.

The ball screamed off the facade... no, actually, it went off the wall in left-center.  Tuiasosopo neatly played it on one bounce, fired into second.... and Young had a single.

....................

You've got to build your whole roster with this tragedy firmly in mind.  Like, is Saunders your new center fielder?  Before Gutierrez starts swallowing salt water out there?

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=== Casey Kotchman ===

What is the flavor text for Eevee in Pokemon?  Hm...  well, Casey's might be "Leads the league in tear-inducing grimaces during live action.  It is not known whether he is the constant victim of itch powder or whether he plays on a scorching bunion."

CK made a wonderful catch back over his shoulder down the RF line, turned and looked for somebody to toss the ball to... embarrassed, he shot-putted the ball over to Figgins in a manner that I'd have hated to see my daughter Jennifer use.  And Jenny doesn't play slo-pitch.

Kotchman is a whale of a lot better athlete than you or me, but...  if you haven't checked lately, he's ripping along at .226/.291/.364.  Casey Kotchman is a 1B, and he's an OBP first baseman with no power, and his OBP is .291.

.............

Can anybody explain to me W-H-Y Kotchman is on first base, as opposed to Matt Tuiasosopo or Mike Carp or Matt Mangini or ANYbody else?

I don't mean it sarcastically.  I mean it literally.  Could somebody offer a hypothetical as to what Casey Kotchman is doing at first base right now?  I don't care enough to be annoyed.  I'm simply curious.

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Part 4

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